Thoughts on Nothing

Since I started back to work, I haven’t had much time to myself—even on my days off they’re filled with work projects and the usual daily tasks. The last two days were a rarity where I said “Screw all of that” and went to the beach to relax and clear my head. After some time walking around, today, I admit I was frustrated. Meditating on some obstacles I’ve found in my path and not being able to find a way around them. Eventually I just threw my hands in the air and sat down to read for a little while, hoping the distraction would at least keep my mind on other things.

I got to a part in the book talking about how Lao-tzu describes nothingness and the importance of it. That you need empty vessels so they can fulfill their purpose, which is to be filled with something.

I put the book down and just laid back and watched the clouds. Instead of trying to just empty my mind of all my worries and keep it empty, I thought back to times in my childhood where I laid in the grass and stared at the sky. There was a large oak tree in our front yard, and a lot of the time I would lay under it and just watch the leaves sway in the wind, catch glimpses of clouds poking through, listening to the birds sing and hop between the branches. It felt like I would lie there for hours sometimes doing this, but for the life of me I can’t remember anything that I thought about. I just remember being there in that present moment and just basking in the peacefulness of it.

So I tried it again. I laid there on the beach and looked up at the clouds as they drifted and dissolved in the sky, changing their patterns and evolving into larger clouds or light whispy puffs. I wondered how many skies I watched in my life that looked just as beautiful but I don’t remember. I made it a point to try to remember this one, so I decided write about it.

Now that I’m done describing it, I can see rain clouds starting to move in, so it must be time to go. But it’s nice to know that in the nothingness today, I was able to feel inspired and write something. Even just small bits of creation in some capacity is enough to fill the nothingness for today.